Children helping Ukrainian Armed Forces: how to support and inspire a child?

"I want to help the Armed Forces" is what parents hear from their children more and more often. How to help a child understand what exactly they can do with their abilities, talents, and capabilities? Where to look for fundraising ideas? How to help achieve success? How to tactfully explain the possible difficulties and disappointments if the child does not manage to collect hundreds of thousands of hryvnias as it is shown on TV?

Family psychologist Olena Lytvyn helped us answer the questions that concern parents. Rubryka has collected various examples of children helping — starting points from which you can begin discussing possible support options with your child or just get inspired.

No coercion or competition!

It is now essential for all of us to help the Armed Forces. Children also want to join the common cause. However, as psychologist Olena Lytvyn emphasizes, there should be no coercion in the issue of involving children in helping the Armed Forces, setting other children as an example, comparing the amount of money earned, and even more so — shaming. The psychologist advises starting by determining the range of possible activities according to the child's age:

• Children aged 1-4 should not be involved and encouraged to help;
• Children aged 4-8 should only be supported in the form of a game: play "checkpoints," draw, and engage in creativity;
• Children aged 8-16 also continue to play but can already do specific things. However, only at their own will and in any safe form that is available and enjoyed.

It should be explained to a child who wants to participate in fundraising for the army that not only children but also adults are now doing what we can and helping the army strongly and with the best feelings. Any help is vital to the Armed Forces, even if it is small or seems so to some people. There can be no comparison that someone helped and raised 3 hryvnias and someone 330,000 — which is why they are the "best." No! Everything done from the heart is important. An ordinary can of self-canned cucumbers for our fighters is no worse than dozens of expensive sights or drones.

The most important thing to remember is that we — the adults — hold the dome over the state together with the Armed Forces, and our job is also to protect and defend children and reduce their anxiety.

Should we motivate? If the child does not show such initiative, would it be right to prompt them?

The best motivation is your own example. Children should be involved in helping through community, through a sense of involvement in a common cause. For example, you can offer to go together to weave nets for the Armed Forces or bake cookies for our soldiers.

Children always play games similar to what they see among adults. If they see that adults help, and make their contribution to the Victory, then most likely, they themselves will try to join this great goal.

According to the psychologist, prompting and pushing a child to help is categorically wrong. You can inform: "a charity fair will be held for the benefit of the Armed Forces of Ukraine." We can also participate. I will do…, would you like to join in?" You have to react calmly to the rejection. And always remember that the best teacher is our example and involvement through a sense of community and belonging.

Therefore, commanding forms and management in these situations are taboo for parents. Support your children and be sure to ask them what they want and think:

• It looks like you have an idea of how you can get involved and be of service.
• Do you need my help?
• How do you think it will be better?

How should parents appropriately respond to the desire to raise money for the Armed Forces? How to support a child?

It is important for parents to look at such a desire as a manifestation of empathy, compassion, and activity of the child, which gives them a sense of their own strength, ability, and involvement in the common cause, says the expert. You need to react accordingly, showing that you see the child's sense of strength and capabilities, see the involvement, ideas, and considerations about how and in what form the child can help the Armed Forces. And most importantly, believe in the child's strengths and abilities.

A great solution for the company of children is to organize a space for playing, drawing, fantasizing, and generating ideas in "your territory": at home or nearby.

How to help a child understand what exactly they can do with their abilities, talents, and capabilities?

Every child can do something for the army that they know or want. Someone can expertly play chess, sing, or dance, and others will be delighted to play "checkpoints," do crafts, or draw postcards with the subjects they like. The main thing in generating ideas is not the amount of money earned, Olena Lytvyn reminds. After all, we all perfectly understand that children's contribution, with some exceptions, is more emotional and symbolic.

Such a contribution is emotional and symbolic for both parties — both for the child who makes such a contribution and for the soldiers, who, for example, will receive a picture that will once again remind them of who and what they fight for and how the children are waiting for the victory.

How to set yourself up for any success and prevent disappointment?

The fact that your child has a big heart, cares about a common cause, and has a sense of strength and ideas — this is already a success, says Olena Lytvyn.

Difficulties and frustrations can only arise if there is competition or help is more work than play. We have already learned that helping the Armed Forces is not the work and duty of children. That is the work and duty of their parents. For a child, it is primarily a game that should be associated with positive experiences and emotions. The task of parents is to be there and ensure safety.

If children unite and collect funds together, then it is very desirable that they collect them in a common container so that there is no competition between them, or they start arguing about who earned how much money and who has done better.

"Tell stories about our glorious warriors, our values, and how strong, smart, and brave we are. I advise this only in the context of instilling values, empathy, strength, independence, and responsibility. I emphasize – encourage, not impose. After all, the most valuable thing in the help from the children is that these children will grow up to be responsible, caring citizens of their country," the psychologist emphasizes.

 Magic phrases that parents should pay attention to:

How do children already help the Armed Forces of Ukraine?

✅ Chess and checkers

Eight-year-old Saveliy, who moved from Bucha to Lutsk, has been playing chess for four years. To help the Ukrainian military, he plays chess for money with passers-by on the central street of Lutsk. The boy's mother and grandfather support him in this kind of volunteering. There is no fixed amount for the game – people leave as much as they can.

And ten-year-old Valeriya Yezhova collected and transferred 21,000 hryvnias to the Serhiy Prytula Foundation. A girl played checkers with passers-by for money while sitting near a supermarket in Kyiv. Valeria did not lose a single game because she is the world and European champion in checkers.

✅ How to buy a bulletproof vest for a song?

Little Solomiyka from Dnipro plays the flute in the city streets. Solomiyka's mother says that the girl has already collected 118,000 hryvnias. With these funds, two bulletproof vests were purchased, and the purchase of a night vision device is also planned. The young volunteer directs the collected funds to the "Return Alive" fund.

Yuriy Napora, an 8-year-old boy from Lviv, tours the region's cities with his father and collects money for the Ukrainian military. The boy sings Ukrainian songs with his father. Yuriy has already performed in Mostysk, Horodok and Novoyavorivsk. At the last concert, he managed to collect more than 14 thousand hryvnias, and in general, the amount of money collected at the concerts reaches more than 70 thousand.

And five-year-old Maria Makeyeva from Kryvyi Rih even got into the Book of Records of Ukraine as the youngest volunteer: together with her brother Oleksandr, she collected UAH 35,492 to help the Ukrainian military by performing Ukrainian songs in the center of Lviv.

✅ Hand-made victory

Ten-year-old Valeria Karnauch knits and sells patriotic keychains every day. The girl is from Velyka Oleksandrivka, the Kherson region. She now lives in evacuation in Kryvyi Rih with her family. Her mother says: her daughter became interested in volunteering as soon as the school year ended. "She started asking me who the volunteers are, who appoints them or how they are chosen. I told her who they were and how it was. And she asked: "Can only adults be volunteers, or can children too?" I tell her: "Anyone can be a volunteer," the woman says. The price of Valeria's products is symbolic — 30-50 hryvnias. She has already managed to collect about two and a half thousand hryvnias with her hobby. She has already given two thousand to volunteers to purchase knee pads for the Ukrainian military.

Yuliya Teslyuk, Liza Syvak, and Roman Stelmashchuk joined forces in the village of Laskivtsi in the Ternopil Region — the girls gather and weave jewelry from rubber bands, and Roma conducts an "advertising campaign." Friends transfer the proceeds from the sale to the needs of the Armed Forces. The children have already collected 3,323 hryvnias, which were used to buy food for the military.

90,000 hryvnias for a car for defenders were collected during the charity fashion show "When we win" in Vinnytsia. The event was organized by pupils of the City Palace of Children and Youth. The children paraded in clothes they had sewn with their own hands.

✅  Lemonade and pastries

Denys Hurenko, a 12-year-old resettler from Berdyansk, collects funds for the Armed Forces by selling lemonade in Ternopil. In this way, Denys not only helps the Armed Forces of Ukraine but also learns – he completes the tasks from the financial literacy lesson conducted by volunteers from the "Safe Space" initiative for displaced people. The boy prepares lemonade according to his mother's recipe. Other relatives help the young entrepreneur. His uncle has agreed on a place to sell, and his grandfather drives him by car. "We reacted very positively to this idea. Let the child do his thing if he has an interest in it. Let people buy delicious, fresh, cold lemonade. To support the Armed Forces," the boy's grandfather says.

Sixth-grader Artem Gun'ko sells pies baked by his mother in Kozyatyn. According to his mother, Daria, Artem expressed a desire to participate in fundraising to purchase a car, a thermal imager, and ammunition for our defenders. Daria baked pies, and the boy sold them. There was no fixed price, and people threw in the box an amount they wanted. Over the past weekend, Artem managed to collect 1,671 UAH 50 cop. Artem and his mother have given all the funds to volunteers who collect money for Kozyatyn's Territorial Defense.

✅ Household help

11-year-old Maksym, a resettler from Pokrovsk in Chernivtsi, collected 50,000 hryvnias to rehabilitate a Ukrainian defender who lost his leg in battle. The guy printed an ad where he offered his neighbors to carry out small errands for a nominal fee — to bring water, take out the trash, and walk the pet. After people found out what the guy was raising, they started sending money and helping buy equipment for the army.

And in Bucha, three boys organized a "car wash" to raise funds for the needs of the Armed Forces of Ukraine. The mother of one of them helps to transfer money through the Diia application. The first contribution to the Armed Forces — 2,500 hryvnias — the boys earned by washing car headlights.

✅ Flowers and drawings

In Kaniv, children sell wildflowers to help the Armed Forces of Ukraine. Anton, Yura, and Vlad decided to help Ukrainian soldiers, inspired by a video from the TikTok social network. The guys set up an improvised retail outlet in one of the city neighborhoods. In two days, they collected almost a thousand hryvnias. The children give the funds to the volunteers.

And in Zaporizhzhia, just in the courtyard of a high-rise building, small Ukrainians organized an improvised store. Children offer to buy various trinkets – stickers, pictures, drawings, and postcards. The prices are small – they start from 5 hryvnias. All profits go to help Ukrainian defenders.

✅ Braids and piggy banks

Ten-year-old Daria Bezugla from the Danube region cut off 58 centimeters of her hair, sold it, and donated 10,400 hryvnias to help the Ukrainian army. The girl grew her braid for four years. The girl got the idea to sell her hair when a full-scale war began. "I wanted to contribute to the victory, to help the Armed Forces of Ukraine so that they could buy food, medicine, and everything they needed," Daria said. Dasha's parents supported their daughter. The girl's mother says that no one in the family was ready for such a decision of the child, but everyone approved such a decision.

Yura Bulygin, a 12-year-old schoolboy who sings in the National Opera of Ukraine, dreams of building an IT business and meeting Elon Musk, donated 10,000 hryvnias to the Drone Army through UNITED24. "It's not just 10 thousand hryvnias. Almost the entire amount is coins. 50 kopecks and one hryvnia coins. Yura collected them for four long years — earned money by singing, and saving from gifts from relatives. And during the war, he decided that the most important thing was to help the defenders," Minister of Digital Transformation Fedorov told about the boy's act.

Our children will surely succeed!

• On August 12, the President of Ukraine, Volodymyr Zelensky, awarded children who, despite their young age, help for the sake of victory.
• Maksym Brovchenko from Berdyansk: paints pictures and sends the money he earns to help the Armed Forces.
• Andriy Pokrasa from the Kyiv region: together with his father, he used a drone to track the movement of the occupiers and transmit the coordinates to the Ukrainian military.
• Danylo Sergeev from Mariupol: from the first days of the full-scale war, he cared for the elderly — brought water and food to the basements, and cooked in the yard. Helped a man and his daughter get out of a destroyed house and provided first aid.
• Irynka Vasylieva from Rivne: lost her father and uncle in the war. She makes wreaths and sells them. She has already collected 7 thousand euros. With these funds, together with her mother, she purchased two thermal imagers and a car for the Armed Forces.

"The war took away our kids' childhood. They had to grow up faster. Not all adults are capable of doing what they do to help others. Their stories are truly impressive and inspiring. I am sure that a wonderful future awaits Ukraine with such brave and sincere children. Thank you!" the president stated during the award ceremony.