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Solutions 16:24 17 Jul 2024

Breaking taboos: Ukrainian nonprofits pioneer sex education for new generation of teens

Rubryka shares the stories of Ukrainian civil organizations that create opportunities for teenagers to learn about sex, remove stigmas surrounding sex education, and drive change in the lives of Ukrainian teenagers and society.

What's the problem?

A 2011 American study showed a link between teenage pregnancy and lack of sex education and found that the highest rates of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections were among teens who hadn't received any sex education at school or home.

The lack of sex education and the taboo nature of the topic have led to severe social problems worldwide. Rape, teenage pregnancies, epidemics of sexually transmitted diseases, domestic violence, and people's inability to build strong relationships are some of the consequences of ignoring the needs of children and teenagers.

Adults often try to shield teens from the topic of sex when it interests them and is crucial for their emotional and physical development. They are being vague, threatening, or telling lies to children about sex, doing more harm than good when sex education helps teenagers have a healthy understanding of themselves and others. Despite the importance of honest conversations with children, parents and teachers also avoid the topic of sex education because they are embarrassed, feel uninformed, or think it's unnecessary for young people.

The stigma in Ukrainian society surrounding sex education is slowly being lifted. 60% of parents and 60% of teachers in Ukraine fully support formal sex education in schools, according to a 2020 Cedos Think Tank study. The topics they want to be included in curriculums are personal safety and communication with strangers, sexually transmitted infections, contraception, internet safety, gender equality, pregnancy, childbirth, and more.

What's the solution?

While schools in Ukraine gradually introduce sex education lessons, youth nonprofits are stepping in to answer all teenagers' questions openly and interactively. Our featured NGOs today are the public organization FRI and the Teenergizer Movement.

"Sex education isn't just about sex; it's about self-love, safety, emotional intelligence, and more," says Maria Bohaienko, leader of FRI in the northwestern city of Kharkiv and communications manager of the Sex Education Camp for Youth. "It should start not just with contraception but with personal boundaries and healthy communication with oneself and partners. Building a healthy identity in a child helps them understand themselves."

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Maria Bohaienko. Photo from Maria's social media

Founded in 2002, the Foundation of Regional Initiatives, or FRI, has grown into a nationwide youth public organization, uniting over 500 activists. Its many projects focus on developing youth leadership and civic activism. One such initiative is the Sex Education Camp, which the organization created in 2016 to promote a culture of sex education for youth and reduce its stigma.

Sex Education Camp, an educational tent camp for youth, is hosted in the western Lviv region, addressing topics like anatomy, types of sexuality, violence prevention, and contraception. This year's camp, from August 12 to 17, will focus on building romantic relationships at all stages, like establishing personal boundaries, keeping the spark alive in relationships, managing long-distance relationships, and coping with betrayal and breakups.

"We want to engage people eager to learn. It will be interesting for everyone, from beginners to those already knowledgeable in the topic," says Maria Bohaienko.

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The schedule of the day in the 2023 camp. Source: FRI

Last year, the camp collaborated with another organization, Teenergizer, which led an educational segment on sexual and reproductive health. It is a youth movement from Eastern Europe and Central Asia whose team conducts sex education lessons in schools, offers training on HIV, organizes support groups, and provides free online psychological consultations for teenagers.

"We hold training sessions with our psychologists to discuss topics that aren't covered in schools, such as sex education and mental health. We share knowledge based on the peer-to-peer principle," says Liubov Kuzovkina, the training coordinator at Teenergizer.

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Liubov Kuzovkina, a training coordinator. Source: Teenergizer

Adolescence can be challenging, so it's crucial to support teenagers on the path to adulthood. Rubryka collected stories from young people about sex education (or the lack of it) and asked FRI and Teenergizer to answer the most pressing questions.

How does it work?

Story 1: "Something funny and forbidden"

"At our school's sex education lesson, we learned about the structure of male and female organs, hygiene, and contraception," says Tania, a Ukrainian teenage girl. "My classmates' reactions struck me: they laughed and joked about everything, acting like they were scared. I think most teenagers — especially boys — react this way because the topic is taboo — parents hide it, making it forbidden and shameful to discuss. So, teens end up having to find information on their own because they have no one to talk to."

Indeed, the topic of sex often makes teenagers laugh for various reasons. Some feel uncomfortable and use laughter as a defense mechanism. Others have already heard jokes from their peers and continue the tradition. Some want to appear superior and nonchalant about a topic that is supposed to be embarrassing. The solution is to start sex education early and normalize the topic. Begin with simple, age-appropriate information and gradually delve deeper.

"With younger children, the first step is to work with kids through and with parents, as they often create the main barrier," says Teenergizer's Liubov Kuzovkina. "You can talk to little kids about anatomy and basic things, then slowly move to more complex topics. For example, start by teaching children the correct names for their body parts rather than using euphemisms."

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A circle of teenagers, each wearing "Teenergizer" paper bands. Source: Teenergizer

Early sex education matters as it's an issue of children's safety. No matter how funny sex education might seem in school, it can be lifesaving in everyday life. A child who know their boundaries are not to be crossed can tell their parents if someone tries to touch or harass them.

Teenagers should try to break down stereotypes for themselves and not be afraid to show interest in sex education. These insights will be helpful many times over, especially in critical situations that could have been avoided with proper knowledge.

For teens who feel uncomfortable discussing personal topics in public, Teenergizer offers online consultations where they can discuss any questions.

Story 2: "Sex education Is depraved" 

"Last year, when we announced the Sex Education Camp event, a few people commented that sex education is necessarily bad, some sort of corruption of minors, or an orgy," says FRI's Maria Bohaienko. 

Liubov at Teenerizer corroborates, saying that they often encounter parents who think, "We go to schools to teach their kids how to have sex." But that's not true at all.

Sex education is a comprehensive concept where the topic of sex is not the main focus. It covers relationships between people, self-acceptance, identity and sexuality, and safety both in sexual relations and in the external world.

Maria Bohaienko says Sex Education Camp was founded when the topic was just gaining traction in Ukraine, even before the Netflix series "Sex Education" existed. The camp was born out of frustration with stereotypical jokes in social settings and the perception of sex as something funny and shameful.

Despite these stereotypes, a day at the Sex Education Camp begins calmly with morning exercises, breakfast, and hygiene routines. Participants then attend educational sessions and have free time to walk, swim in the river, socialize, or play board games. Evenings are filled with dances and bonfires against the backdrop of enchanting landscapes.

The camp has its traditions, culminating in a mandatory project management day, during which participants learn to create mini-projects on sexual education for their communities. The organizers aim to advance and educate as many people as possible on this critical topic.

Maria Bohaienko says the camp changes people's perceptions and worldviews, "Last year, we had a boy among the participants who just wanted to go to the mountains. He didn't care where specifically. He ended up in our camp, where one of the sessions addressed stereotypical views of the LGBT community. After six days, he said, 'I didn't think gays were normal, but they're actually interesting. I want to be friends with them.' This sounds wild to us, but his paradigm of understanding changed. He still maintains contact with some LGBT participants."

The FRI leader adds that such sincerity and openness among participants can only be achieved by creating a comfortable atmosphere within the camp, where everyone feels safe sharing personal experiences. The camp's most important lesson is promoting self-love, where love for a partner begins.

Story 3: "Friends from the Red Sea"

"In sixth grade, I was sitting on a bench during PE, and three classmates came up to me, pointed at another girl from our class, and said, 'Look, that's Olha. She's on her period. It's better not to talk to her because having periods means she's dirty,'" a girl Maria says. "I was surprised because I didn't understand the connection. My parents had talked to me about it, so I knew that every girl would start menstruating sooner or later. Meanwhile, my classmates told each other that periods just don't start for no reason."

Liubov Kuzovkina, the training coordinator at Teenergizer, comments, "When menstruation began for sixteen-year-old Carrie in Stephen King's book, her religious mother was very frightened. She said that now 'she's dirty.' The girl thought she had some disease and turned to older girls for help, but instead of helping, they just laughed." 

Despite being a completely normal natural phenomenon, menstruation somehow evokes disgust. Girls are taught under no circumstances to say "menstruation" and to use all possible synonyms for the word "red," hide pads, and avoid talking about periods in front of men. However, such tabooing leads only to insecurities in girls who begin to be ashamed of their bodies and do not talk about painful periods, which, by the way, are by no means the norm but rather a reason to see a gynecologist.

"The minimal foundation we can create is just by talking to teenagers in schools, both girls and boys. It's equally important for boys to know [about period] because reproductive health depends on it. It's important to know about physical and mental health so that girls and boys understand what is normal and what is not," Liubov comments. "We often receive questions from teenagers about periods. They don't know when to expect discharge, what discharge is normal, and what is a deviation from the norm." 

That's why the Teenergizer team conducts workshops in schools for teenagers to normalize their attitude toward ordinary bodily processes. The organization chooses teenage speakers a few years older than the audience to establish contact with students, like older brothers and sisters you can talk to.

"We build a connection brick by brick, mostly through sincere conversation with interactive sessions rather than a lecture format. We try to create an atmosphere where sharing your thoughts without pressure is comfortable," says Liubov.

Story 4: "You're not like other girls"

"At 15, I started dating a guy who was 24 at the time. He always said I was smarter than other girls, much more attractive — not like everyone else," Oleksandra recalls. "I was really proud of this because while my friends were dating peers, I could boast about being picked up from school in a car. However, after a while, I started feeling uncomfortable when he began pressuring me for sex. I didn't want it and was very afraid. Once, when I refused again, he got angry, punched the wall, and started yelling that I would never find anyone better. So if he left me, my life would be over. I didn't tell my friends or parents because I didn't want them to think my choice was bad." 

Girls are taught from a young age that they grow and develop faster than their boy peers, so no dissonance is created when an older man approaches them with a proposal to date.

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A training session at the Sex Education Camp. Source: FRI

However, no matter how mature and mentally developed a girl may seem, she is still underage, protected by the law, and continuing to grow mentally and physically. That's why it's better for teenagers to date peers who share their age-related problems, understand their feelings, and are on the same life path.

"Many girls who hear the phrase 'You're not like other girls' don't know how to behave. At 15, this phrase sounds very grandiose and boosts self-esteem. However, adult men often say it due to their traumas and biases," Teenergizer's Liubov Kuzovkina comments. "These words may not please the girl but rather mask certain needs and gaps in the family. If a girl doesn't receive enough attention and care from her parents, the relationship may feel like a rescue, making it seem like someone has finally noticed her. Usually, older men do it for selfish reasons, not out of a desire to love, protect, or comfort."

Often, such relationships are accompanied by violence — psychological or physical. "Getting out of them is difficult. The brain decides to cope with the issue by pretending to be in love with this person, and these relationships are your conscious choice," the activist adds. Liubov advises girls to sincerely share their feelings with their parents or trusted people and not to condemn themselves.

Story 5: "HIV and sexual relationships"

"In university, I met a guy who had HIV. I thought I knew a lot about this disease, but I was surprised when he mentioned plans to have children," says Oleh. "I asked him if he wasn't afraid of passing on his status to them. The guy responded with something about treatment. I'm still not sure if that's okay."

Teenergizer training coordinator Liubov comments, "In school, we were taught about HIV from the perspective that it's deadly, dangerous, and terrifying. However, in reality, HIV causes less discomfort than diabetes. All a person needs to do, who knows their status and doesn't want to progress to AIDS, is to take medication once or twice a day. In this case, HIV poses no danger to the person or those who come into contact with them." 

A person who doesn't know their status can drink from shared dishes, touch others, and hug because HIV is transmitted only through direct exposure to blood, semen, or from mother to child. In movies, scenes were once common where children would cut their fingers or palms to bond, touching them to each other. No one should do it because it involves direct blood contact, which can transmit not only HIV but different diseases.

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A training session at the Sex Education Camp. Source: FRI

Since its founding, Teenergizer has been on a mission to educate teens about HIV and reduce the stigma against HIV-infected individuals. Liubov adds that the movement also exists in Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan, where awareness about HIV is much more critical. If your status is known, you cannot become a doctor or pursue any military or medical specialties there, so teenagers often feel compelled to conceal their status.

Maria, communications manager at Sex Education Camp, adds that during camp, the team also addresses the topic of HIV in educational sessions. Many participants thought they knew everything about this topic and were genuinely surprised to hear certain things. She says:

"We had an open HIV-positive speaker who said, 'Yes, people with HIV don't die. Moreover, you can even have children with HIV.'"

Story 6: "Getting infected through oral sex"

"It was supposed to be my friend's first and only date with that guy — nothing serious. Yet, a few days later, she found out she got infected through oral sex," says Olesia.

In society, oral sex is still not considered "full-out" sex, not seen as something "serious." Despite all denials, however, this type of sexual activity also has its consequences, including the risk of sexually transmitted infections.

"In both heterosexual and homosexual sex, infections can be transmitted not only through vaginal or anal sex but also oral sex — through any type of sexual activity. For example, if you touch someone's genitals with your fingers and then touch your mouth with them, infection can occur that way, too. The mucous membranes in both areas are equally vulnerable," says Liubov.

Infection can also be transmitted in reverse — from the mouth's mucosa to the genitals. For women, an unpleasant consequence can also be a change in vaginal microflora, leading, for example, to yeast infections.

"The best contraception that can help is barrier contraception, which creates a barrier between bodies using silicone or other materials: regular condoms, female condoms, latex sheets. Such contraception protects not only against pregnancy but also against diseases. And to be absolutely sure, you and your partner can get tested for sexually transmitted infections," Maria adds.

The Sex Education Camp's program addresses these and other topics. If you're interested in developing sexual education and creating your own projects, FRІ is always open to new active participants. You can join the youth organization through its website.

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